We Loaded Up the Truck & We Drove To Beverly (Hills, TX)

This week brings some good news and some really, really BAD news.
Naturally, my nekkid self would like to begin with the good. Let's begin with a prayer:
"Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. Tiny Jesus, with your golden, fleece diapers, with your tiny little fat balled up fist, I'd like to thank you for miraculously directing my former childhood owner's (FCO's) daughter to find my missing hand:

In case you were not aware, after over 36 years on this earth, I was tragically maimed a few weeks ago by this child:


and her meerkat pet, Whitey, whom she consistently insists is my "boyfriend". Sorry. Tuesday is simply not into bestiality.


Bottom line:  My hand was found so it's time to CEL-A-BRATE good times, c'mon!


Time for the bad news.


Did I mention I am a HUGE football fan?  

Notice the formerly maimed hand

I am.  And my college team is my FCO's alma mater, the University of Oklahoma.  Things were going good last week after the A&M game:


Truthfully, I'm not totally sure what went on that weekend, due to the medicinal beverages my FCO and her college sorority sisters were socializing with...
well, seriously, this is an entirely different blog we will need to discuss which involves a drunken, wobbling state governor, collegiate private part piercings, and a Kickapoo whore.


But that story will have to wait until next week.


Today is about the tragedy that happened last week in Waco. 

Although, it didn't technically happen in Waco. 


Technically, Baylor's stadium is located in Beverly Hills, Texas.  Are you effin kidding me?  Beverly Hills Texas in the middle of Wacko, TX?


Yeah, it is.  And there's cement ponds swimming pools and movie stars and road kill possums.

And they serve this kind of shit gourmet goodies at their tailgate:

Yes, I was riding high, atop the head of my FCO's nephew's foam core sooner schooner, (notice the Rodney Dangerfield Baylor Bears fan in the background),

then found myself, once again, on the fitty yard line, proudly saluting with my formerly maimed hand:

when I was sent into a Crimson Hell.

I've got tears in my beers, 

Brrrrr! That is ice cold on my non-existant lady parts!

'cause I'm cryin' for you, dear...


Let's get started on a more positive, albeit cloudy, start next week!

See you next Tuesday!

XOXO,

Tuesday